Love ... is perhaps one of the most commonly misunderstood words among us humans. Language for most part falls short to convey the precise meaning behind what we feel emotionally, deep within our soul. We grow up learning love is something which is shared between people you care for. Aren't we capable of extending this feeling towards all ? Why is it so difficult to love everyone ... why do we feel like sometimes people don't deserve our love ? Perhaps the ones we don't show love towards are the ones who need it the most. Deep down you know this is true, yet we continue fighting our egos leading us down a path of sorrow and despair, which we try and hide behind momentary pleasures of the external world.
We fall in love, with fleeting moments of infinite joy which make our spirit soar high in sheer ecstasy as we gracefully unite with the seeming other. When two people or personalities are attracted to each other, it may be for various reasons which draw us closer to each other. These may simply be outer manifestations of our personalities which are bound to change and evolve with time. We sometimes mistake physical attraction for love and get all caught up in our self created hormonal deluge which only gratifies the desires of flesh, oblivious of the union of two souls, completely uniting as one. Aware of each others short comings and strengths ... sensing each others thoughts and feelings ... nurturing each other to grow and be better versions of themselves. This is what keeps two people in love ... sharing, allowing ... while being completely authentic about each others needs, with no secrets and lies hiding our own inadequacies which with time become evident anyway.
We are restricted by our limiting definitions of love which keep us trapped in our egoic consciousness, if there is such a thing. It's simply a lack of self awareness which seeks the other to complete us. Most of us 'fall' in love with an idea of love given to us through mass conditioning and propaganda. We foolishly 'fall' for outer appearances and the masks ... rarely listening to the universal language of frequency and vibration which speaks for itself. We can sense each others energies and we keep denying our innate abilities confusing it for paranoia or our wild imagination. Once you recognize yourself as a spiritual being ... or simply consciousness ... which permeates all creation, you lose the illusion of your separate identity, hence wake up to reality. In a relationship, its important to realize that its two souls who come together in order to heal each others wounds and help build an environment of compassion and understanding while envisioning the future together, growing and expanding always ... continually.
Sometimes we get stuck in certain ideas about love and struggle to free ourselves from its shackles as we continue to seek "love" from another. Someone who we feel will complete us ... physically, emotionally ... It may seem like it works, for a while, until life rearranges itself to bring about a new learning experience, in letting go off attachment and the need to control. Many couples who come together in love tend to get lost along the way and so does their idea of love, which goes right out the window ... because it was never based on a strong foundation, it was never a deep rooted spiritual connection. It can be wrecking to find oneself in a situation like this especially with children involved as it changes your world completely, sometimes quite dramatically.As Terence Mckenna said, "Nothing Lasts ... but nothing is lost."
In an ideal world, couples nurture each other all along, accepting each others light and dark side, while healing the parts which are wounded. What's wrong with the general idea of love in our reality is that people don't know themselves or love themselves enough to be able to accept another for who they are. With time things change and when people resist change it becomes uncomfortable. Some relationships were never built to last and crumble with time and its important to learn the necessary lessons from these relationships and move on bravely into the unknown, with love in our hearts. To love is not to be physically present with the one you love, always. Sometimes, you have to love and let people take their own roads while wishing them well, in hope that someday they will realize the truth for themselves.
I have been through similar challenges in my personal life lately and my own experience makes me share this realization with others who might be facing similar challenges in their lives. I am happy there is hope even in the darkest of times as we are being prepared for greater things to manifest on Earth and in our lives, in the time to come. By healing our own wounds and by letting go off our personal baggage we are in a way freeing the collective unconscious from its self limiting paradigms rooted in fear and separation. We all have great abilities to manifest in this lifetime, but first, we must endeavor to free ourselves from negative karma and let go off any extra baggage we might be carrying with us from our past. The only real relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves. We must be true to our selves and live the life we came here for. If we don't fit into this world, its because we came to create a new one and its time we start moving in that direction, one step at a time.
I came across this brilliant article by Jackie Lapin shared by an evolved soul on facebook ... maybe this will help you fix your relationship and heal your life in a way its meant to. Look forward ... while learning from the past mistakes.
People who are making the change to a conscious and spiritually-driven life often discover that they are yoked to someone who is not prepared to come along on that journey. The partner is mired in his or her own negative thoughts and emotions, and meets any topic of spiritual enlightenment, positive vibration and conscious creation with a wall of resistance. Don’t despair…lots of others have gone through this phase too, and come out on the other side with a happier life. Let’s look at what you can do in this situation:
• Stay in your positive vibration state. Don’t allow your spouse or mate to pull you out of alignment with the Universe. When you feel yourself drawn into it, take a walk, go play with the kids, read a book, go have lunch with your best friend… and continue to think and feel positive about yourself, your life and the good qualities in your partner.
• Create a sacred place in your home where you can go to meditate, clear your chakras, express gratitude, Consciously Create, connect with the Universe, —activities that keep your frequency high. Ask your partner to respect this private time, so that you can “recharge.” This recharging should continue to buttress you against his or her negativity.
• Demonstrate how your life has changed by just being happier, more upbeat, less stressed…and soon your partner may want to know what it is that has changed you and how he can he/she get some of it!
• By changing how you respond to things, your spouse is bound to have to adjust. If you are doing something different, that will change the dynamic between you and within the family. Your partner will have to adjust in some ways to meet or stay up with the new you.
• Visualize a harmonious relationship. See your relationship changing and your partner opening up to greater dialogue, a more open-minded attitude and a willingness to explore new avenues—new ways of thinking. Take your focus off of what is WRONG, and put it on what is right and what you desire.
• Throw your “love net” around him or her. I really believe this is an empowering tool to create waves of love that generate vibrational change. See yourself throwing the net of positive loving energy over your mate and yourself, so that it will allow him/her to release the negativity in a net of safety and acceptance. This raises vibration between the two of you, and floods him or her with your loving, positive energy.
• Each day of the week, spend five minutes telling your partner one or more of the things you love about him or her. Your partner will be delighted to hear praise instead of complaints! It may well begin to shift his/her expectations, mood and outlook.
• Focus on making the present moment the very best and most enjoyable you can and vision for the future. Release the past. Don’t reintroduce old patterns, hold him or her to past behavior by bringing up how it’s been previously, and make sure that you don’t fall back into old negative repetitive interactions yourself. Let go of the anticipation that your partner will respond in “the same old way.” Leave the door open for change and possibility. Create a new pattern of interaction through your change of emotions, thoughts and energy habits.
• Present your partner with positive alternatives. When he or she focuses on the negative, gently demonstrate what alternative thought, emotion or perception may further his or her desire. Be a teacher, but do it gently, don’t force-feed these concepts.
• Become a Master Manifestor. As you raise your frequency, good things will increasingly come to you at your beckoning. If your spouse or partner gets jealous, point out that he/she can do this too if he/she follows your path. Then hand your partner a copy of The Art of Conscious Creation!
• Accept that the Universe is creating an opportunity to test how effectively you can maintain your own positive energy in the face of a challenge!
• Lastly, and this is the most extreme outcome, if you have tried all of these over time and you find yourself in a situation that is not emotionally healthy for you, you may have to leave the relationship. It is when the negatives outweigh the positives, with little prospects for change, that you have a responsibility to your ebullient and joyful soul to find an alternative lifestyle either alone or with a more positively disposed and spiritually aware partner. Remember, even when there are children involved, they fare better with at least one happy parent, rather than two miserable ones.
- Jackie Lapin
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