Swami Beyondananda's Cosmic Hilareality !


Steve Bhaerman is an internationally known author, humorist, and workshop leader. For the past 18 years, he has written and performed as Swami Beyondananda, the “Cosmic Comic.” Swami’s comedy has been called “irreverently uplifting” and has been described both as “comedy disguised as wisdom” and “wisdom disguised as comedy.”

As the Swami, Steve is the author of four books, Driving Your Own Karma, When You See a Sacred Cow.. Milk It For All It’s Worth, Duck Soup for the Soul, and his latest Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step Plan to Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile Dysfunction. Swami’s nationally syndicated spoof advice column, Ask the Swami -- along with his comedy performances -- have found a wide and appreciative audience.

In his “past life” (before Swami), Steve started an alternative high school in Washington, D.C. and co-authored a book about his experiences, No Particular Place to Go: Making of a Free High School. A political science major, he later taught history to autoworkers at Wayne State University in Detroit as part of the Weekend College.

In 1980, Steve co-founded Pathways Magazine in Ann Arbor, Michigan, one of the first publications bringing together holistic health, personal growth, spirituality, and politics. The Swami was a regular comedy feature in Pathways, and helped launch Steve’s career as the cosmic comic. Having spent his deformative years in Brooklyn, Steve earned a black belt in Borscht Belt, and has won numerous Irony-man competitions. He currently resides in Santa Rosa, California with his wife Trudy.

Beyondananda News ...

Swami’s 2009 State of the yoUNIVERSE !

The Shift Has Hit the Fan:
Welcome to the Sane Asylum

By Swami Beyondananda

The shift has hit the fan !

Humanity has shifted its karma into surpassing gear, and political climate change has come to America. Thanks to a grassroots up-wising, we the people huffed and puffed together in the same direction and the winds of change blew in a breath of fresh air. And we can all breathe easier.

The vote in November was more than a vote for a new President. It was a vote for a new precedent – to overgrow the “lowest common dominator” paradigm and take a step towards government of the people, by the people, for the people where the government does our bidding, not the bidding of the highest bidder -- and where the Golden Rule can finally overrule the rule of gold. In the short term, the up-wising has been successful, and the American Evolution has begun. The first big shots have been fired, and we are on the road to recovering from an eight-year bout with Mad Cowboy Disease and Electile Dysfunction.

But now, if we want to heal the body politic of conditions like Deficit Inattention Disorder, Truth Decay and the deadliest one of all, an unchecked Military Industrial Complex, we must elect ourselves. Spiritually, it’s time to quiet our barking dogmas and evolve past the Ten Commandments to an even greater realization – the One Suggestion: “We are all in it together.” Once a critical mass of us chooses to live by this credo, we can avoid the critical massacre called Armageddon, create Disarmageddon instead, and achieve fulfillment as a species -- Humanifest Destiny.

The End of the Age of Nefarious ?

Every journey into the light is preceded by a dark passage, and our entry into the Age of Aquarius is no different. As predicted in the celebrated quatrain (“When the goon moves into Lincoln’s house, and stupider aligns with Mars, then greed will guide the planet and fear obscure the stars ...”), the Age of Nefarious delayed the start of the new millennium. But now the quatrain is heading down a new track, and soular power is shining a light on the endarkened corridors of soulless power.

Just as the eight-year journey that took us from Whitewater to Blackwater was coming to an end, some overzealous Bush-bashers hurled footwear to give the departing regime one final boot. That was understandable, but unnecessary. Better we should keep our shoes on, and use them to stand together at a time when healing wounds is more important than wounding heels. Besides, without Bush there could have been no Obama. His alarming actions awakened more people than Buddha, and a body politic in a fear-induced coma miraculously regained consciousness.

And now there is a new President: Barack Hussein Obama. After eight years of insanity, we can proclaim to the world, “America has a President Hussein!”

So now, we must face another awesome truth: We are living in a world gone sane.

Welcome to the sane asylum.

Trickle Down Goes Belly Up

It’s a good thing our political fates are on the upswing, as our economy has taken a sharp downturn. The house of credit cards economy based on trickle down has gone belly up, and we must face another, sadder truth. Individually and collectively, we’ve been suffering from Deficit Inattention Disorder, and since we were unable to do the math, we must now do the aftermath. It’s a buy-o-logical fact. You cannot spend more than you have. Nature knows this. We can use no more energy than what we have in reserve. We cannot charge energy on our Ascended Master Card and repay it next lifetime.

So yes, the casino economy coming down, but there is an upside to the meltdown. There is a great opportunity in the crisis. Consider this. When the dollar hits zero, we can pay off our entire $10 trillion national debt and hardly feel it!

Meanwhile, over the past eight years we have seen the fall of reptilian entities like Enronosaurus Wrecks, and most recently a character named Madoff made off with billions. Our entire economic system has been revealed as an extraordinary ponzi scheme where ordinary people are left holding the empty bag.

Unfortunately, this is nothing new. It’s the same old needy-greedy where our collective fear of not having enough -- “scare city” -- has empowered those privatizing privateers who are plundering our planet with their mining operations: that’s mine, that’s mine, that’s mine. This mining has overmined the planet and undermined humanity. Thus, the emergency we face right now.

So, what do we do? I am glad I asked that question. We must go beyond the fear-based state of emergency, to a state of emergent seeing. That is where we emerge and see the genuine wealth that is all around us: the virtually infinite energy from Father Sun, the prolific nourishment Mother Earth brings us every season, the love we generate from our hearts, and the inventiveness of our minds. With this realization, we have a one way ticket out of scare city ... and we enter a state of a-bun-dance. That is where we get up off our assets, move our buns, face the music and dance together. In using our resources to create good goods and greater goodness, we can weave a web of mass construction that will make us all interdependently wealthy.

Heartland Security and Purple People Power

So ... how do we do this? How do we go from our habitual “every cell for itself” consciousness that has caused our current “mining disaster”, to acting on the evolutionary truth that we are in reality “all cells in the body of humanity?” How do we shift from survival of the fittest to thrival of the fittingest?

First we must move from the fear-based Homeland Security to the love-based Heartland Security, and realize our one true security is in the land of the heart. While the beliefs in our head fool us all the time, the love in our heart is foolproof. When we face up to love, we can face down the fear.

What this means in practical reality is that we must step across the “red-blue” political divide that has kept us separate, and show our true colors as one purple people. Yes, we have all been wounded by polarizing politics, so let’s give ourselves a purple heart, and take the next courageous step to cohere around our shared “heart core” values and become ... we, the purple.

I have a dream ... that the rednecks shall lie down with the blue necks, and we tune out the polarizing mainstream media, which is sadly a brainwashing machine stuck on spin. More than ever, we need forums not againstums, dialogue instead of debate. When the body politic stops mass-debating and chooses to have healthy, pleasurable intercourse, we will finally create a healthy brainchild together.

This February, we celebrate Abraham Lincoln’s bicentennial, and our friend Richard Lederer (the anagram master known as Riddler Reacher), tells us that when we scramble the letters in “Barack Hussein Obama,” we get “Abraham is back: One U.S.”

You don’t have to be a Barack-backer to see that instead of relying on leaders from above, the next evolutionary step is for us to become the leaders we have been waiting for. I am Lincoln. You are Lincoln. We are Lincoln. And by linkin’ together, we free ourselves from slavery to the divisive beliefs in our minds, and form a more perfect union in the land of the heart.

Sure, these ideas may seem far-fetched, but we are nearer to fetching them than ever before. Remember, we are now living in a world gone sane. Change is ahead, change is afoot, and everything is changing from head to foot. Like it or not, we are destined to have heaven on earth. Might as well get used to it.

Keys to Transformation

WINNER AWARENESS. Just remember that each of us has been given a special gift -- of Life -- just for entering. So, you are already a winner!

HOOT DEVELOPMENT. Become a FUNdamentalist -- make sure the Fun always comes before the mental!

Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put here in the material world is to get more material.

Any material in life that we laugh at can be used to fuel our karma. When we add a spark of joy to any painful material in life, this causes an explosion of mirth – and this bubbling of laughter causes esteem to rise. So turning material into esteem is what empowers our karma.

Laughter is a transformational tool that used wisely can bring not just physical healing, but emotional release, mental flexibility, spiritual perspective and a return of the innocent playfulness that so many of us abandoned when we were tricked into believing that life is serious.

Laughter produces endorphins, our body’s natural painkiller. Laughter improves immune function. Hearty laughter is literally good for the heart, because when we laugh it causes our blood vessels to dilate. And that is certainly better than having them die early!

Don’t Worry — You’re Already Funny. Instead of trying to be funny, learn to see funny. Especially learn to see what’s funny about you. Imagine God watching the Comedy Channel, and you are what’s on.

Follow Swami Beyondananda’s sage advice and become a Divinely creative plaything. Bring the childlike quality of play back into your life. Run up the down escalator. Dress for Halloween -- any day the mood hits you. Plant the seeds of harmless fun — wherever you go.

Have a good laughsitive twice a day, and that will insure regularhilarity.

Source : Swami Beyondananda ~ Wake Up Laughing !

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